All We Need Is to Be Reminded
by jodianne87
Summary: "You did make me angry, but I am angry enough to fight you—to fight for you!" Brennan finally met his eyes completely, and Booth was surprised to see the raw emotion in them. "I won't let you forget."  My take on the morning after.


AN: This is my take on the morning after Booth and Brennan's night together. I know it's kind of angsty, but I really didn't see the two of them just sort of going with it all happily. Anyway, I'm not even sure how much I like this. It seems sort of OOC to me. Oh well. The quotes at the beginning and end of the story are from the song "Higher Window" bu Josh Groban. The song was part of the inspiration for this story. Hope you enjoy!

I do not own any of the characters or anything else. Seriously, I'm broke.

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><p>"For all the times I tried for thisAnd every chance at you I missed/I've been known to go my way, but I confess/It made me miss you more."

_Higher Window-_Josh Groban

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><p>Booth woke up to the weight on his chest lifting. He blinked rapidly, trying to figure out what was going on, and when his tired eyes focused completely, he realized that he was feeling Brennan leave his bed.<p>

"Hey, where are you going?" His question clearly startled her, and Brennan froze, the muscles in her back tensing immediately. She tried to force them to relax and turned, affecting a nonchalant posture and tone.

"I need to go home and get clean clothes, Booth. I'd also like a shower, and none of my things are here." Booth gave her a half-smile, his voice gravelly with sleep still when he responded.

"C'mon, Bones. I know you keep extra clothes in your office, and you told Angela you were staying with me last night anyway, right? It won't cause any fuss for you to show up in the same clothes. You can just blame it on my overprotective nature." His smile grew, and Brennan could see his expression take on a little cockiness. "Anyway, I have a shower that I'd be more than happy to share with you." His meaning was clear in his eyes, and had Brennan been calmer, less panicked, she might have reacted differently when he reached to pull her a little closer to him.

Booth felt her stiffen again, and immediately loosened his arms. He pulled back so he could see her better, and his expression softened.

"I know we need to talk about this, Bones. I… this isn't how I imagined anything happening between us either, but it did, and I am happy about it. I know that we need to go catch Broadsky and deal with everything else, but we need to talk about this first."

"We do need to go to work. I think that the serial sniper with a grudge against you is more important that whatever conversation we need to have." Booth gave her a concerned look.

"I really think we should talk about this now, just…in case."

Brennan pushed him away and stood, putting on the sweatshirt that she'd taken off the night before. Booth caught himself on his arms, unprepared for being physically pushed away, and gave her a bewildered look. "Bones, what's going on?" She didn't respond, busily looking for the rest of the clothes she'd been wearing. "Seriously, say something, will you?" There was still a trace of lighthearted teasing in his voice, but it was quickly being overridden by fear and a sense of despair. Brennan found the rest of her clothes and headed for the door. Overcome with blind panic and no small amount of anger at Brennan's silence, Booth leapt out of his bed and stopped her before she made it to the door. With his hands on her shoulders, Booth held her at arms' length, his anger growing by the second.

"Booth, let go of me!" Brennan tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but Booth refused to let her. "I want to go, now get out of my way!" Something like realization dawned on Booth's face, and even though Brennan refused to make eye contact with him, she saw the change immediately. His grip slackened to the point that she could get out of it, but he still blocked her exit.

"You're running." Booth's revelation was practically a whisper, and Brennan felt herself flush with guilt at the disbelief in his voice.

"Don't be ridiculous, Booth. I told you, I want to go home and shower." The scoff in her voice seemed to bring Booth out of his brief stupor, and his eyes snapped to hers, then narrowed.

"That may be true, but you're still running away from me. You're going to walk out that door and pretend this never happened. And once I let you do that, you'll shut me down every goddamned time I try to bring it up." Brennan still avoided his gaze, trying not to flinch at both how well he knew her and at the accusation. Her silence gave him his answer. Booth drew himself up to his full height, crossed his arms across his chest, and leveled a determined stare at her.

"You don't get to do that." Brennan opened her mouth to argue, but Booth didn't let her speak. "No. You do not get to come into _my_ _bedroom_ in the middle of the night, needing comfort, have sex with me, and then walk out the next morning so you can pretend nothing happened. Maybe a few years ago, I would have let you, but not anymore." His voice was steel, and Booth practically saw her hackles rise. His eyes narrowed further, and he readied himself for the fight.

"Booth, this was a mistake. I appreciate you being there to comfort me, and indulging my…desires, but I really think we should just forget about this and keep going as we were." Her voice was dispassionate, almost entirely without emotion, but this time, it was Booth who scoffed.

"I know what you're doing, Bones. You think if you give me the cold voice, and the rational explanation, and try to pass what we did together off as your ridiculous "biological urges" it'll make me angry enough to let you leave." He paused, and her silence spoke for her. "Well, try again, Bones. You did make me angry, but I am angry enough to fight you—to fight for you! I know you, I know you feel things more than you let anyone see." His voice softened. "I was there with you last night, Bones. I felt what we were together, and I won't let you turn it into something less." Brennan finally met his eyes completely, and Booth was surprised to see the raw emotion in them. "I won't let you forget."

"Booth, I just… I can't deal with us. I can't do it. There are so many things wrong with us, and I just can't." There was a terrifying note of finality to her voice, and Booth felt his throat constrict in fear.

"Bones, we cannot give up. This is our chance—finally! We can do this. Bones, please, don't give up on me." There were tears in Brennan's voice when she responded.

"There's too much, Booth. Too much hurt. I know I said I was getting stronger, but I don't think I'll ever be strong enough for this."

"Bones, please, _baby_, I know I screwed up and hurt you. I saw it every day, and I will never forgive myself for that, but please, don't say it's too much. You are strong enough." Brennan shook her head, refusing to cry, but wanting to desperately at the tears Booth was doing his best to hold at bay. He gripped her shoulders tighter before his hands slid down to tangle with hers. "Bones. Look at me, please." His voice was little more than a strangled whisper, and Brennan couldn't help but obey. She saw all the things he was saying in his eyes, and more.

"I know I'm the one who drew the line, I'm the one that put up all these boundaries. And then I ignored all my own rules and expected you to do the same. When you said no, I couldn't see my fault in the whole mess." Booth was doing his best to control the mix of emotions in his voice, but he was struggling, and Brennan could see it. "Right after that, I started seeing that I'd gone too far, too fast. I thought that maybe we'd be able to try again in a few months." His hands squeezed hers tightly and his eyes dropped with some emotion before he continued. "And then you wanted to go to Indonesia. All the hope I'd built up sort of fizzled, and the anger that I had came rearing back to the surface. Does that make sense?" He didn't really wait for her answer, sure that he wasn't making much sense.

"When we left, I had no idea what to expect. And things were hard for a long time while I was gone and when we got back. I know that, and like I said, I know I hurt you. But we were getting so much closer, Bones, and last night… well, I am not giving up on this." Brennan swallowed back her tears.

"Booth, I don't want you to feel guilty over everything that's happened in the past two years. We both made mistakes, but I've forgiven you for yours. You… you are not alone in the blame. That's not why I'm leaving. I just… I can't mess this up. I can't take the risk of losing your friendship. I won't risk it. I won't."

"Bones, this is our chance. Every other time, we missed it, and I know you're scared. So am I. We've both hurt each other so much already that the idea of the damage we could do if we wer really together is terrifying. But we can't give into it. We can't. I can't, and I won't let you. You are strong enough." They were both visibly holding back tears, the magnitude of what they were doing almost overwhelming.

"I'll do what you want, Bones. If you really want to give up on us, if you can't ever see yourself able to be with me, I'll let you go. But I love you. You have to know that. I love you, Bones." There was desperation in his voice, something begging her to believe him. "Every time I look at you, I am stunned by your beauty, your intelligence. You say that you're not strong, but you are. You don't think that you're capable of having this kind of relationship with me. You are, I know it." Still connected at the hands, Booth pulled her into his body, closing his arms around her in a crushing hug. Inhaling a shaky breath to steady her voice, Brennan finally spoke again.

"What if it's too late for us, Booth? What if we try this, and can't get over the pain we've caused each other?" Booth pulled her even closer.

"It's not too late. The way I feel about you, it can never be too late for us."

There was silence for a few minutes. Brennan's face was buried in Booth's chest. He held onto her like it was the last moment he would ever have with her—and a small part of his brain reminded him that it probably was—and then he felt and heard Brennan sniffle. She pulled back a few inches so they were face to face.

"You'll have to help me, Booth. I don't know how to do this." A small smile bloomed on Booth's face, and a matching, if more tentative, smile appeared on Brennan's. Not wanting to spook her, Booth simply held the gaze, despite how much he wanted to kiss her. After a few seconds—seconds that felt like hours—with Brennan's eyes roving across his face searchingly, she abruptly leaned forward and crashed her lips into his. Booth's eyes widened briefly in surprise before he melted into the kiss. Almost as suddenly as she had leant in, Brennan pulled away. A disbelieving smile took over her features, and she gazed up at him, seeming to be astonished.

"I love you, too, Booth." His eyes popped open almost comically, surprised at her words, and at the incredulous tone in her voice. Before he could respond, she spoke again.

"I love you." This time was more sure, as if she believed it more herself. Coming out of her stupor, Brennan looked at him and grinned. "I have never experienced an emotion like this, but I can only assume that it is love."

"It is, Bones. And I've never felt quite like this either." Her mouth opened, as if to argue with him, but he wouldn't let her. "I've loved people, but never like this. That's the truth, Bones."

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><p>"And all of our cards are on the tableTell me what you want to do.../Just don't tell me that it´s too late/for me to love you."

_Higher Window-_Josh Groban

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><p>Review if you'd like!<p> 


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